Whenever we watch Andy Sandford, we can’t help but think how Andy makes his jokes as funny as they can be. Whether they be extended stories or classic set-up/punch style jokes, Andy meticulous tinkers with how his bits are written and delivered to their funniest point.
Shameful Information, Andy’s just-released special, exhibits Sandford’s exquisite craftsmanship that’s so enjoyable that you probably won’t even think about how an hour has passed by the time it’s done. Andy taped the special at Star Bar in Atlanta, his hometown, giving a much more genuine feel than you’d might get with a special performed in a gigantic theater. On top of all of that, Andy closes it with one of our all-time favorite jokes about inner city kids watching Abbott & Costello’s Who’s On First.
Also, we’d like to note that this special was recorded pre-2016 election and, for what it’s worth, there is a wondrous air devoid of the unmistakable cynicism of the current moment.
So, you can (and should) get and watch Shameful Information on iTunes right here.
I don’t know anything about most things (some of which are important). However, I know that I have been much happier in life when I do these things…
1. Steer clear of long, involved binge-style shows. They’re for the bedridden and the depressed. I was a lab rat in the Netflix maze just like all of you, but once you ignore their pellets (13 part documentaries, flashy lookin yet forgettable dramas), you’ll find you have way more time to do other things that aren’t a complete waste of time.
2. Don’t take facebook seriously…It’s a carnival of hyperbole. Your feed is in no way a sampling of society as a whole. People are better than facebook. The best ones aren’t even on there probly. Step down as mayor of hot take town every so often. You’re absolutely right about (insert whatever) and you’ve voted. You did your part and flaunted your sticker: yer a good person. Don’t let the state of the world determine how much you complain to me or others about it. Go for a walk. Like a status in real life (compliment?)…practice armpit farting. Somethin. If you start all your anecdotes with, “I saw so an so posted this an that,” stop that.. Also, be more specific about who “so an so” is, or what “this an that” pertains to.
3. Always have 1 fiction and 1 non-fiction book yer reading, and know that no one else wants to read them, even if they dunno what they’re missing..It’s good to make yer brain be your TV sometimes. If readin makes you sleepy, read more. Look up words you dunno, ya idiot. If ya let yer vocab etiolate (wilt/dry up), you’ll sound like every other stodgy philistine (boring dumbfuck). Don’t correct people’s grammar either. Everyone knows it’s “you’ve done well” and not, “ya done good,” but talkin colloquially is more fun, and I feel that if you love words enough, yer gunna know which ones to misspell on porpoise. Some of us aren’t bound by the chains of linguiphobia and are willing to make up words like linguiphobia.
4. Write every day. You don’t have to be a comedian to reap the benefits of daily, immersive writing. It just won’t be that funny. It’s still therapeutic. If you are a comedian, and you don’t like to make yourself write, you should probly know that you’re bullshitting yerself. Ya gotta dig for buried treasure. Hell you gotta dig to know where the treasure isn’t…don’t got time to judge how others go about writing, but not writing is not a writing process. For me, writing is like peeing. Sometimes I have to make myself, and it doesn’t flow so easily, but I can’t go too long without peeing/writing unless I wanna piss myself without warning and feel the warmth of possible jokes fade into cold, wet jeans that smell so bad I have to leave the Chase bank and take the train a few stops (not sure where the metaphor begins or ends).
5. **MOST IMPORTANTLY** Have passionate sex 3 times a day on a bed of money (at least $20’s and queen/full size), I can’t recommend this enough, but you’re gonna need a lotta money for that money bed, also for the sex. Maybe set a goal of being super rich first, THEN start workin on yourself. If yer poor, it’s harder to convince people you too deserve to be happy, ya just can’t afford it yet.
…I hope this was helpful to anyone out there havin a rough go of it, waiting on a comedian to tell them how to be happy. I just wanna say that you’ve waited long enough, and you are sincerely welcome. This felt like a productive way to put off actual work, and I’m now ready to get back to my passion: gettin paid and gettin laid.. It’s good to know that I’ve made someone’s day a little brighter: even if that someone is me. :)
