timtalksfuckted: Today it rained at work for most of the day. I was soaked head to toe and wanted to leave. I was just about to leave when one Russian woman walked on the bus and said “I want to see Dakota building, is very important”. I explained to her that it was going to rain. She wasn’t dissuaded. We sat on the top of the bus, just her and I, while it poured. I offered her a rain poncho. She refused. I told her all about the building. She sat emotionless through the entire thing. We passed the building. She looked, smiled briefly, and took no photos. About two blocks later she says “I work for woman for many years in Moscow. Wealthy, brutal woman. She treat worker like slave, beat us, make us work sometimes no pay. Her husband say one girl pretty, she fire girl, lie say she steal so she can’t get another job. She knew workers were desperate. Made us beg for our pay. In the end I leave her. Evil woman. She come to America with her husband to buy apartment in this building, Dakota, premier building, John Lennon building. She brag all over town about this. She come here and they ask her for paper and interview her. They ask for more paper. (She starts smiling). Maybe she not as rich as she say. Maybe her husband lie to bank. Maybe in America she just a dog. (She laughs). Well anyway after while big ordeal they tell her no she can’t buy in building. She is devastated. She comes back to Russia and is fool to people. She fight with husband. He leave her for whore. One day she drink and take pill. Dead. I’m sorry you had to get wet but I wanted to see the building make her feel like dog. I wanted to see building that kill her. I always want to see it. Is beautiful building, Dakota, but not for me, I like California”. She hands me a crumpled five dollar bill and disappears down the street. This is a hate-filled and yet heart-warmign tale by my friend and fellow comedian Tim Dillon. He does NYC bus tours as a day job and has so many incredible stories like this one. I strongly recommend that you follow Tim at timtalksfuckted. You can thank me later. Now I am going to find the woman from this story and ask her to marry me.

timtalksfuckted:

Today it rained at work for most of the day. I was soaked head to toe and wanted to leave. I was just about to leave when one Russian woman walked on the bus and said “I want to see Dakota building, is very important”. I explained to her that it was going to rain. She wasn’t dissuaded. We sat on the top of the bus, just her and I, while it poured. I offered her a rain poncho. She refused. I told her all about the building. She sat emotionless through the entire thing. We passed the building. She looked, smiled briefly, and took no photos. About two blocks later she says “I work for woman for many years in Moscow. Wealthy, brutal woman. She treat worker like slave, beat us, make us work sometimes no pay. Her husband say one girl pretty, she fire girl, lie say she steal so she can’t get another job. She knew workers were desperate. Made us beg for our pay. In the end I leave her. Evil woman. She come to America with her husband to buy apartment in this building, Dakota, premier building, John Lennon building. She brag all over town about this. She come here and they ask her for paper and interview her. They ask for more paper. (She starts smiling). Maybe she not as rich as she say. Maybe her husband lie to bank. Maybe in America she just a dog. (She laughs). Well anyway after while big ordeal they tell her no she can’t buy in building. She is devastated. She comes back to Russia and is fool to people. She fight with husband. He leave her for whore. One day she drink and take pill. Dead. I’m sorry you had to get wet but I wanted to see the building make her feel like dog. I wanted to see building that kill her. I always want to see it. Is beautiful building, Dakota, but not for me, I like California”. She hands me a crumpled five dollar bill and disappears down the street.

This is a hate-filled and yet heart-warmign tale by my friend and fellow comedian Tim Dillon. He does NYC bus tours as a day job and has so many incredible stories like this one. I strongly recommend that you follow Tim at timtalksfuckted. You can thank me later. Now I am going to find the woman from this story and ask her to marry me.

(Source: timdillontalks)