The Bless Yer Heart Tour told in pictures. gograntgordon and I had a blast and didn’t end up killin each other er nuthin.
the longest reply thread I’ve had on a picture of me with a big bat
see ya soon, south!
I saw a vegan meme showing a pic of Cecil the lion and a picture of a cow that says “how is one life worth less than another?” Sorry vegs, but lions are worth way more than cows. First off, there are much fewer lions than there are cows, that’s just economics. Also, a lion’s majesticness is off the fuckin charts.
timtalksfuckted:
Today it rained at work for most of the day. I was soaked head to toe and wanted to leave. I was just about to leave when one Russian woman walked on the bus and said “I want to see Dakota building, is very important”. I explained to her that it was going to rain. She wasn’t dissuaded. We sat on the top of the bus, just her and I, while it poured. I offered her a rain poncho. She refused. I told her all about the building. She sat emotionless through the entire thing. We passed the building. She looked, smiled briefly, and took no photos. About two blocks later she says “I work for woman for many years in Moscow. Wealthy, brutal woman. She treat worker like slave, beat us, make us work sometimes no pay. Her husband say one girl pretty, she fire girl, lie say she steal so she can’t get another job. She knew workers were desperate. Made us beg for our pay. In the end I leave her. Evil woman. She come to America with her husband to buy apartment in this building, Dakota, premier building, John Lennon building. She brag all over town about this. She come here and they ask her for paper and interview her. They ask for more paper. (She starts smiling). Maybe she not as rich as she say. Maybe her husband lie to bank. Maybe in America she just a dog. (She laughs). Well anyway after while big ordeal they tell her no she can’t buy in building. She is devastated. She comes back to Russia and is fool to people. She fight with husband. He leave her for whore. One day she drink and take pill. Dead. I’m sorry you had to get wet but I wanted to see the building make her feel like dog. I wanted to see building that kill her. I always want to see it. Is beautiful building, Dakota, but not for me, I like California”. She hands me a crumpled five dollar bill and disappears down the street.
This is a hate-filled and yet heart-warmign tale by my friend and fellow comedian Tim Dillon. He does NYC bus tours as a day job and has so many incredible stories like this one. I strongly recommend that you follow Tim at timtalksfuckted. You can thank me later. Now I am going to find the woman from this story and ask her to marry me.
(Source: timdillontalks)
Attention Comedians
geofftate:
Upon reflection, I rewrote last night’s rant. I am not Batman.
Are you a comedian? Do you host a show? Have you ever said, “your next comedian is a girl?” Why?
Have you ever said, “your next comedian is a guy?”
Have you ever said, “your next comedian is black?”
Why would you say, “your next comedian is hot?” Why would you say, “your next comedian is fuckable?”
How about “your next comedian is a comedian?”
Why marginalize someone based on gender? What if your next comedian was a girl, but not someone you found attractive? Would you say “your next comedian is gross?” Who do you think you are? How dare you?
We are all comedians. If these arguments still do not make sense to you, then maybe this one will. It’s been done already. You’re a hack if you do it.We are here because we’ve been marginalized by society to some degree already. We have all sought our refuge inside comedy. It’s our safest place. None of us has the right to take that from another. It’s not easy being a comedian. Even the most successful deal with loneliness and the day to day road life that isn’t fun, no matter how much money is in your pocket. We shouldn’t make it harder for other comics to be comics. It’s hard enough already. I understand comedians like to bust balls and shit talk and whatever but I’m talking about real shit. Groping. Making moves on girls after being asked not to. Never referring to a female comedian as anything except female comedian. Marginalizing and dismissing other fucking comedians out of hand based on personal prejudices. We are all just comics. It’s all garbage we wrote into a notebook. We aren’t entitled shit. We certainly don’t get to victimize another comedian just because she’s a girl, or a guy if you’re a predatory lady. (Understand you can’t do this to anyone, but comedy is where I have influence, at least with some who have influence.) We are on the same team and if you aren’t, you’re not on the fucking team anymore. It has to end. Louis isn’t a threat anymore because it’s as public as it’s gonna get, most likely. But other comics are a threat.
If you are sexually predatory, you should get help. Find a therapist. Seek treatment. Perhaps, leaving the the scene for awhile will aid in your recovery. Sometimes it’s better to avoid the temptation. Avoid the triggers. However, if you don’t get treatment, you seek retribution on someone because you think he/she “ratted” you out or you go after someone you’ve victimized, or you continue to engage in predatory behavior, your name and actions will be so public so fast you won’t even have a life outside comedy. It will all go away. A comedian’s power comes from the microphone. This is how we deal with things. So, no one is gonna fight anyone. No one is getting thrown down stairs. No one is getting victimized back. Those of us in the community who find this behavior disgusting should no longer be silent. It is kinda our business, too. Same team or off the team. Your next comedian is a comedian.
I’m reaching out to comedians with this. There’s not a lot of predatory creeps, but they do exist and they shouldn’t anymore in our scene. We are all comedians. Same team. If this type of behavior is occurring in your scene, let people know. People care. Other comics care. You aren’t the only one this has happened to. There are, unfortunately, too many to list. If you don’t know who to talk to, feel free to reach out to me. My email is [email protected]. I’m a good listener and I might even know someone in your town who’s a decent human who would be glad to help you out. We need to work together. Same team.
The options are clear. Stop being a predator. Get help. Seek treatment. Make a real life change.
